Amaretto Jazz in the Melting Room (Toskovat’ X Ataraxia)

-I remember passing by a bar and him telling me “This is where he’ll wait for you”. The jazz music faded as the candlelight burned through my skin. I felt him looking. Tearing my flesh and just looking deep inside me.

-What do you mean?

-I mean, you could imagine a 7 year old wouldn’t enjoy dark hallways and sleeping in a room where his grandma died just a year ago. But I was always completely terrified of the devil, even at home. Like, really really scared. And him instilling the idea that love and girls, friends and parties and even the simplest of pleasures like candy and chocolate were out to poison me with sin and sentence me to an eternity in a burning, molten hell surely didn’t help. It seems so strange to me now, as I can vividly remember everything about the smell of the room I slept in that night. It was just so humid and sad. You could smell the oldness, the smell of fleeting life. Slowly. Honestly, I still hate falling asleep at night. I just force myself. Rationally I kind of know nothing will happen. Nothing happed for the last 24 years, so why would anything change tonight? Yeah, sorry, what did you ask me?

-Interesting. I was asking what do you mean by something looking inside you? Metaphorically speaking or was there really an entity? I know nothing came up in the scale I gave you.

-Ah, you know I deeply resent spirituality and I don’t see ghosts and such… I don’t believe in the intangible, but damn, staying near that club I swear I felt the devil looking at me. Like the real deal, with the horns and all. And I had many panic attacks when I was, lets say 9, thinking about death. It was all I could think of. Lasted years. When I was 21 I had a panic attack so awful I couldn’t leave the house for 2 months and I was afraid to stay inside by myself as well. Sad times.

-It seems to me that what you said may be the root of the problem. Or at least, a big part of it.

-Yeah. Anyway, after many years of being afraid, after I came home from Uni, I figured I might as well go and drink an Amaretto Sour with Mister Devil and actually enjoy life. I couldn’t take it anymore. Funny how by running all my life from this hypothetical hell, I actually turned my life into one. Amaretto is my favorite drink now, funny enough. I damn love almonds, I even got a tattoo of them. I still have trouble sleeping at night though.

this is a pre-order and will ship when the product arrives to us.